Photography by Audrey A.
Well my friends, it’s been about 1 week into The Great Hair Lip Experiment of 2010. What? No clue what I’m talking about, that’s understandable. You see, last week, I came to a conclusion that with the combination of A) moustaches somehow retaining their popularity, B) my curiosity to see just how horrible I look with a moustache, and C) that I’m only a few years away from turning (gulp) 40, that this may be the last opportunity I have to attempt to grow some lip hair…. Because, let’s be honest, once I’m “old” and especially once I’m old & the trend is quiet dead, I’m going to looking like a seriously pervy old man with a moustache and honestly, I rather just be a pervy old man when I’m that old.
SO. Starting last week, I’ve PUT DOWN the shackles of shaving and let my individually thick & black, but rather patchy in group form facial hair freak flag fly! The results of 1 week? Here you go, photo taken just moments ago while walking outside:
As you can see, and as expected, the cheeks are looking pretty pathetic, but the chin & lip are coming in quite nicely. For now, the plan is to just let it all go, making me look like I just got back from a 3 week long bender, until the lip and chin are long enough to build the half-douche aka the full-Depp.
Hot diggity there’s some serious photoshopping on his face there….. You see, Johnny Depp, like me, is not able to grow the connectors between the stache and the chin, aka, the full goatee or full-douche, thereby creating the half-douche or full-Depp. You following along or do you need your calculators?
Of course, not even the full-douche can compare the triple-whammy-douche-a-rama!
But for that, you’d need chest hair and sadly (or thankfully, according to Baby), I have 3, literally. I named them Bob, Billy, and Beaner.
Anywhosaldosal… That’s phase 2 (phase 1 is the “3 week bender” look). Phase 3, of course, is the moustache in all it’s glory. There are so many options to chose from, where does one begin?
Some are beyond my reach, such as the “gringo” and the “trucker”, my face just won’t do that (I’m not a hairy man). But I like the idea of all three on the left side, with the possible final goal of the “connoisseur”? My face hairs are very thick and course, so that bad boy’s going to require some serious wax.
Well, I’ll keep you abreast of the progress (hehehe…. “breast”), I’ll most like go nuts one day and shave it all off… Who knows, we’ll see!
Now, I’m not sure of their lip hair status, but I’ve definitely got my metaphorical “porn star” on with Pigeons by Here We Go Magic playing in my head!
Though, if you stare at the album cover long enough, I think you can see a “jihad jack” on one of the creepy faces.
What a delicious soup-strainer of an album this is! Just beautifully atmospheric music that ranges from rich old-school (I’m thinking early 80s maybe??) dance-ish pop of “Collector” to the near Pink Floyd-y “Land Of Feeling”!
Funny, now that I just wrote that, I’m suddenly getting an 80’s feel throughout this bad boy, no, not in the cheesy Top 40’s way, something certainly more full, rich, deep, and authentic. I’m having a helluva time tagging it all in my head — maybe the moustache is distracting me?
Well, regardless, it’s definitely pulling me back to a different time and certainly a different Tsuru. Huh. Now, that’s not to say this is some 80s re-hash, it’s not, there’s just a haze/vibe/aesthetic/light film coating that is pulling my brain back. For example… Listening to “Surprise” right now but visually my mind is on a very, very old memory of a very young me watching Billy Joel’s “Pressure” on a very young cable television over 20 years ago at my dad & stepmom’s house. They sound nothing alike, yet there I am suddenly remember people & places that I haven’t thought about in years. Funny how the brain works, eh?
Oh and hey, look at that, just saw on their tweeter twatters that P4K gave them a “awesome-O new track” rating for “Collector”! Congrats guys, may your mp3/m4a sales be bountiful!
Okay, enough jibber-jabber, time to go pick up some moustache wax and hell, maybe even a bit of Brylcreem!
You.. you just click play and enjoy!
5. Bottom Feeder
7. Old World United
8. Father Figure
9. Land of Feeling
10. Vegetable or Native
11. Herbie I Love You, Now I Know