Okay, my friends…. Do you love vinyl?  Do you have a record player???  Well, I’ve got a Project for you, for all of us.  My favourite thing about vinyl is that every single listening experience is different.  My record is different then your record, my turntable is different, my speakers, my needles, how I drop the needle, when I pick it up, how quickly I flip the record, etc, etc, etc makes every single listening experience unique.

If you listen to vinyl, you know all of this… But now it’s time to show the world.

The Project I propose to you, to everyone, is to take one of the greatest records of all time, Neutral Milk Hotel’s In The Aeroplane Over The Sea and record your own vinyl experience.   No other album in recent memory has become as such a underground following and timelessness to it than this one and I couldn’t think of a better album for this project.

I don’t care how you do it, in a vaulted audiophile experience in super-Flac format, or with a shitty digital camera on video mode uploaded to youtube or something.  Play the record, record the record, and send it to me!  Let’s celebrate vinyl & share our experiences with this album with the world in what I’m calling…

PROJECT: In the Vinyl Rip Over The Sea!!!

To kick it off, I’ll re-present mine now as…

TSURURADIO Presents… In The Aeroplane Over The Sea

(Full Zip)

Side A

1. The King of Carrot Flowers Pt. One
2. The King of Carrot Flowers Pts. Two and Three
3. In the Aeroplane over the Sea
4. Two-Headed Boy
5. The Fool
6. Holland, 1945
7. Communist Daughter

Side B

1. Oh Comely
2. Ghost
3. (Untitled)
4. Two-Headed Boy Pt. Two

Now… it’s YOUR TURN!  If you don’t own the record, go to your local record shop or Insound or Merge or where ever, just get it and let’s hear YOUR In The Aeroplane Over The Sea vinyl experience!!!

HURRY!  GO NOW!!!!

Cheers,

Tsuru

image source (photographer not named)

The other day we discussed the wonder and the glory of the boob and how Apple has decided that boobs on your iPhone are bad.  As of today, Apple is holding steady with their deletion of boob-enhanced apps (all the while a topless dude app meant for hooking up with other, assumingly topless, males still lives on).

Well, Baby alerted me today that the assault on boobs continues unabated as Australia, yes AUSTRALIA, is now banning small-breasted women in adult films & publications????  WHAT THE FUCK?  Their pathetic reasoning is that small-breasted women are just a wee-bit to close to kiddie-porn and pedophilia.  Unreal.

As a boob-lover & connoisseur, I’m extraordinarily offended!  Not only is this very anti-women, anti-choice, anti-fucking-everything, it’s just asinine!  Because some sick blokes get off on kids, you are going to block a grown ass woman from expressing her sexuality as she sees fit because she’s an A-cup?  To continue working in the adult industry would mean a move from Australia or a boob-job?

Aussies…. c’mon.  Seriously.  C’m-the-fuck-on!

We, and I mean ALL of us, must celebrate the boobie!  Big ones, little ones, droopy, perky, large nipples, small nipples, pink, and brown!  Small breasts are wonderful, super-sexy, and a great break from all the ballooned tittied air-brushed Playboy/Baywatch Barbie dolls thrown at our faces constantly by the media.

To my wonderful Australian readers, wake up & rise up!  Don’t let this banning/censoring occur!

Speaking of boobs, in just over a month is our SUPER AWESOME NO-FRILLS BIKE RIDE for BREAST CANCER!!!

Breast cancer knows no cup size, effect all women, from sub-A’s to quintuple-Zs.  AND it looks like we have a start location!  We’ll make it official in March, but it looks like we will be starting at the Columbus Park Of Roses!  This will allow the 10 milers to stay on the Olentangy Bike Path, the 25er’s will venture off the path a little bit, and the 50 will take the path up and out, head into Delaware Country and loop their way back down!  Just working on a final route for the 25ers and we’ll be all set!

Ride for your sisters, your moms, your neighbors, your friends, and for yourself!  We’ve got some boobies to help save!!!!! Can’t wait, and hope to see you there with $20 bucks in your hand and a bicycle between your legs!!!

WOOOOT!

Okay, music….. It’s Twofer Friday today (why not, eh?) and before we get to the album stuck in my head, I think we need to get some tsuruloosies out of the way, take a look around the intertubal superhighway of love and see what’s hot!

Alright!  This time around, I had the foresight to upload my wheelies to give these guys some proper ratings!  WOOT!  As per usual, the rating is out of 5 WHEELIES!

But enough with the jibber-jabber, let’s get on with it (I feel so out of the hype-loop lately)…

She And Him – Thieves

Oh my yes….

The Pass – Colors

WOOP!  Get my 80′s style boogie on!!!

Penguin Prison – Something I’m Not

Zzzzz…….

Club 8 – Western Hospitality

HAHA!  WHEEE!

Dum Dum Girls – Jail La La

Feel like we’ve been here a million times before.

Kiki Pau – an old song

Reminds me of Okkervil.. in a good way!

Nada Surf – Electrocution (Bill Fox)

Nada Surf, like a cup of coffee, so good and comforting…

Pattern In Movement – Light Of The World

Uh.  No.  Well… maybe a little, just a little.  This one could grow on me…

Winter Hinterland – No Logic

At first, I was like “meh”, then I was like “oh my”!

Bettie Serveert – Deny All

Again…. Zzzzzzz……

End on a “Zzzzz”???  You thought we were done?!?!  HA!  Wait… did you?  I mean, it says right up in the post title Twofer Friday and the album we are going to review.  Seriously, if you didn’t know this was coming, I’m going to start worrying about you.

Yep, Tunng’s And Then We Saw Land!  Quite nice… basically classic folk-rock with bits and pieces of electronical goodness here and there.  At times it reminds me of that Sufjan guy with it’s sweet orchestral pop, other times it sounds like it’s pulled from right out of the late 60s/early 70s, other times, it’s sounds like the future.  Yeah, it’s kinda like that.  But aesthetically, it all fits together into a lovely way to wrap up a rather interesting and long week and that’s really all I got to say about that!

Just enjoy…

01 Hustle
02 It Breaks
03 Don’t Look Down Or Back
04 The Roadside
05 October
06 Sashimi
07 With Whiskey
08 By Dusk They Were In The City
09 These Winds
10 Santiago
11 Weekend Away

Some Tunng love:  Myspace | Official | Label

There you go!  Have a great weekend everyone and for all you in & around Columbus, don’t forget this weekend is Couchfire’s Touchy Feely show Saturday night at the Ohio Art League Gallery .

Baby & I both have a piece in the show, her’s is a hand embroidered piece called “NSFW” & I’ve got my “Scratch-N-Sniff Sharpie Porn”!  Hope to see you there!  Until then….

Cheers,

Tsuru

“Dragon’s Lair” by Sunset Rubdown via Pitchfork TV.  Wow…

Photography by manelidou

Man, the Grimm Brothers are some fucked up motherfuckers. As some of you know, I’m working on a new series of photographs, currently called TSURUTALES (yes, I know I need a better name for it, but it will due for now), where I’m retelling folktales, fairy tales, children’s stories, and even some lyrics.  One of the best parts of doing this is, not only all the creative arts & crafts times making the minimal costuming needed to tell the story, but the research into all the tales out there.  It’s unreal.  I’ve got 3 massive books and tons of intertubal searching and I’ve only barely touched the service.  Every culture has a million of their own stories about every damn thing possible. It’s truly amazing and fun.

WELL.  This weekend I’m shooting an odd little story by the Brother’s Grimm called The Little Donkey.

Here’s the gyst of it.  King & queen want a kid, but are having trouble.  God finally gives her a kid, but it comes out a donkey.  She doesn’t want anything to do with it, but the king raises it as a prince anyway.  He’s pretty happy, loves & plays music, etc, until he sees his reflection one day and realizes he’s a donkey and becomes pretty depressed.  He decides to wonder the world until he comes across a hot princess who, with a surprising bit of bravado, he winds convincing father to let him marry her.

Here’s where it gets weird.

Wedding night, time for sweet lovins, HE STRIPS OFF HIS DONKEY SKIN to show he’s a hot dude!  Princess, originally all kinds of freaked out, is not all hot and bothered and happy as a clam.  Guards see this, tell the king who, in his perviness, watches the next night, sees for himself and burns the skin.

Donkey man wakes up the next morning, sees the skin is gone, freaks out & decides he should leave, but the king says not to, that everything is cool now.  He lives happily ever after and when his father-in-law & dad die, he inherents both kingdoms & leads a “glorious life”.

The end.

Wha?

Yeah, I know… Don’t you wish you could’ve been there when the story took the “skin off” direction?

“Okay… here’s what we do, we have him take off his skin and show he’s a hottie.”

“Duuuude… wha?”

“Yeah, you see, then she’ll fall in love with him!”

“But… if he was a person all this time, why not just be the person early on when he sees his reflection?”

“Fuck, I don’t know, who cares man, it’s like magic and shit.”

“Oh dude.. yeah!  Pass me more of that opium, bro!”

Or something along that lines.  Fucked up, eh?  Anyways, the shoot, if all goes well, should be a grieving queen and a dancing donkey!  Got the donkey mask, just need to make a crown and scepter this week.  So, keep an eye out on TSURUTALES for an update!!  WOOT!

By the way… you know, if you are in & about Columbus and like what I’m doing at TSURUTALES and want to retell a story with me, send me an email and let’s bounce some ideas back and forth!  After The Little Donkey, I’ve got the wicked witch from Wizard Of Oz, the swan from Ugly Duckling, and I’m even doing an Alice shoot (the movie, be damned) with a tea party in the woods.  But maybe you have your own childhood or folktale you think would be great.  Drop me a line!

Oh and speaking of arts & crafts, how about that Say Us by Arts & Crafts’ Zeus???

Oh c’mon, that was an EPIC segue and you know it!  I knew I was going to write on these guys the first time through the album late Friday I think.  This album is easy to love.  It’s got this late-Beatles/John Lennon-y thing going on and it’s a blast!  Really intelligent pop-rock with a big fat toe in the past.  My guess is that some people might cling on to the Beatles-thing a bit too much, taking away internet-points, but really, we are all a culmination of our experiences & environment, processed through our genetics, it’s not like they are covering “Come Together” for the 1,443,559th time, this is original music with a keenness for rock’s heritage and it’s fucking brilliant.  Retro AND original, a rare feat.

Yeah, yeah…  just listen and enjoy for yourself!

* I think you can stream the whole thing here! *

01 How Does It Feel?
02 Fever Of The Time
03 Kindergarten
04 The Renegade
05 Greater Times On The Wayside
06 The River By The Garden
07 You Gotta‘ Teller
08 I Know
09 Marching Through Your Head
10 The Sound Of You
11 Heavy On Me
12 At The Risk Of Repeating

Eh??  EH??  Pretty sweet.  Okay, go show Zeus some love: Myspace | Official | Arts & Crafts Records

Cheers,

Tsuru

“Marching Through Your Head” by Zeus — Loving this album! More on it tomorrow… but for now.

Photography by eckyducky

As much as I’d love to look at boobs & listen to Newsom, it is time to move forward.  Tis life, eh?  Yes tis.  Feeling better today, feeling more “me”, a little R&R, a good night’s sleep, and an hour riding in the basement to the 2003 Tour de France will do any man right.

How about last evening’s post & rebirth of Peanut’s Playground, eh?  Europe?  I know!  Fucking awesome.  So thankful to have him on the team.

What?  Oh, don’t worry, I won’t start slackin’ on you, delegating the bloggin’ and whatnots.  There’s WAY too much music out there to listen to, too many all-consuming obsessions that need to be shared & discussed, too many tangents to go on together, don’t you think?  Like today with Take A Bow by Greg Laswell!

Now, I’ll be honest, as you’ve come to expect that from me by now, I hope.  I have no clue who Greg Laswell is… That’s more of a comment about me than him, because if I had a dollar for every artist I didn’t know, needless to say, I’d be typing this on my couch in my underwear.  Fortunately, for the future book report writers of America, we have wikipedia which informed me that:

Greg Laswell is a musician, recording engineer, and producer from San Diego, California. He has released three studio albums: Good Movie in 2003, Through Toledo in 2006, and Three Flights from Alto Nido in 2008, as well as several EPs and special singles. Many of his songs have been featured in films and television shows.

Well there you go.  And according to his website, he’ll be one of the, apparently, 4,213,110 bands playing in Austin, TX at SXSW next month.

Okay, what a second.  That’s just ONE venue and it has 20 bands playing?  Huh?  I’ve never been to SXSW and judging from just this one flyer, it does not look like a tsuru-good time.  The idea of hanging around in Austin squeezing into bar after bar after bar (ouch, my liver hurts already) only to see a band play for less than an hour?

Add in all the blog parties, magazine parties, in-the-know parties, ‘vip only’ parties, RSVP parties, party parties, and I don’t know, it just sounds like a whole bunch of standing around, drinking cheap beer, hoping to be “seen”, while hoping to catch a snippet of a band.

To each their own, to be sure, if that’s your thing, lard bless ya, but it’s one of those things that goes ZIING! PEE-YOO! right over my head, maybe even taking a nick out of my ear.

To be honest, I used to be kinda jealous of all the bloggers & music crickets who went down there.  But now, I think I rather spend that money on a trip with Baby to Japan or France or Ecuador (we really want to hit the Gallapagos Islands) and maybe get my ass over to Tampa, Mesa, and Toronto, and see some family. Or maybe even head up to Calgary to visit from friends and catch a small music “festival” (or is that more of the same)?

So, what is SXSW?  Is it basically a bunch of “dancing monkeys” (thank you Colin Meloy) trying to get press attention?  I’ve said it thousand times, I’ll say it a thousand more… I’m SO GLAD I’m not in a band.  Don’t know how you do it guys.  I’m so glad you do, so so glad you do, but yeah, I don’t know how.  If it was me, I’d probably just make music in my basement in my off-time at Arby’s tossing up a few songs on a blog somewhere for the 6 people who’ll randomly stumble upon it can listen if they accidentally click the play button.

But (believe it or not) this isn’t a SXSW post, it’s a Greg Laswell post (I think).  And granted, I don’t know any of his previous work, I do have Take A Bow floating around my skull.   The wiki quote way up there said that a bunch of his songs have been used in TV & movies and yeah, I can totally see that.  The songs have a “Coldplay-ism” about them, hell, Greg’s voice is even similar to the Coldplay singer.  Now, to the super-indie-set, this may all sound like a negative, minus 8 internet points, etc.  It isn’t.  Yeah, it’s not a “challenging record”.  It won’t get you to question your preconceived notions of what makes music good or whatever.  It’s just well-crafted layered & heart-felt pop songs and I think it was Paul McCartney who once asked, “what’s wrong with that?”  Nothing, man, nothing.

Enjoy!

01. Take Everything
02. My Fight (For You)
03. Lie To Me
04. Come Clean
05. Around The Bend
06. Take A Bow
07. In Front Of Me
08. You, Now
09. Marquee
10. Off I Go
11. Let It Ride
12. Goodbye

Go show Greg some love: Myspace | Official | Label

Cheers,

Tsuru

Photography by 600film

Once, in what feels like a lifetime ago, I acted as the host on Peanut’s Playground. Me and some of my friends wrote about music there. We did just about everything from obscure indie to (semi) popular stuff, just because we felt like writing about the music we love. One day, for some trivial reason, I decided to kill the website. Just like that. Dead.  At the time it felt like a huge relief, because somewhere along the way I lost the feeling of joy that I felt when I started the blog. Somehow it had begun to feel more like ‘work’ than I wanted it to.

Anyway, it took a little while but eventually I regretted having pushed the delete button. And here we are…

My good friend Tsuru, who I met on the (virtual) Playground has given me the opportunity to get back in the game. Granting me a little piece of his heaven to try and relive some of the old magic. Without any pressure, or as Tsuru said: “Make it a weekly-ish column, because it can be weekly or less or more, that’s totally fine!” And that’s the way I like it and I really hope you will enjoy my ramblings. I’m still a little rusty, but that will wear off I hope…

So here we go!

You might wonder what I’ve been up to these past years. Well, I got older, that’s for sure. I also helped bring another little peanut into the world. Granted, my role was somewhat limited, but still. He’s mine and his name is Dex Niven. Aptly named after my favorite serial killer and my favorite chef. What I’ve also done is listen to a shitload of music. And this time I didn’t feel the pressure (or need) to write about what I heard. I could just concentrate on listening for a change. And I must say, I really enjoyed that.

What did the listening teach me? Well for instance that the ‘Indie’ tag does not cover the load any more. Everyone and his brother’s dog is ‘Indie’ these days. I have no clue what it stands for this day and age. What I also discovered is that not the entire world listens to the same music as I do (evidence found at a Voxtrot concert with only 35 or so attendees). And I’ve learned to appreciate the value of guilty pleasures more. Guilty pleasures should be cherished since they are the things that define you. Don’t ever let anyone talk you out of the things that you love!

And here is something that I happen to love; going to see my favorite artists perform live. And these are the ones I’ve got lined up for 2010:

January: Europe
February: Spoon
March: Phoenix and Josh Rouse
May: Pavement

WHAT’S SO SPECIAL ABOUT EUROPE?

Europe?? Why would you go to see those poodle haired old age rockers!? Because these guys happen to be one of my guilty pleasures and I’ve wanted to see them perform live since I was 10 years old. They remind me of those good old days way back in ’86, when we first heard ‘The Final Countdown’ on the radio. I was a little boy then and remember very vividly how we used to strut our tennisrackets on the schoolplay stage, acting like we actually were John Norum and Joey Tempest. And now I’m a somewhat older dude of almost 34 and those thoughts and sounds still bring a smile to my face. Every time I listen to them. That’s why I went to seen them live and I loved every second of it!

Some evidence:

Cherokee
The Final Countdown live video recorded at the concert by yours truly (on my cell phone, so that’s why the quality sucks a bit)

Show Europe some guilty pleasure respect here: Official | Buy

WHAT’S SO SPECIAL ABOUT SPOON?

Tsuru did a fun post on Spoon a little while ago (see here). He indicates, and rightly so, that songs like ‘The Mystery Zone’ seem to be never ending. Songs like these were the reason that the band’s latest album didn’t quite grab me. But now I’ve seen them perform these songs live everything seems to fall in to place. I was hardly impressed by ‘Transference’ at first few listens, but I am now! Perhaps the perfect example of how it has grabbed my attention is that the main guitar solo on ‘Written In Reverse’ has been promoted to my current ringtone. Replacing the theme of I Dream of Jeannie after nearly 4 years! Quite an achievement is it not!?

Some evidence:

Out Go the Lights (removed per request)
Guitar solo of Written In Reverse (cruelly ripped out of the original by your friendly neighborhood Peanut)

Show Spoon who’s got their money and do it over here: Official | Buy

WHAT’S SO SPECIAL ABOUT PHOENIX?

The French lads of Phoenix are finally getting the credits that have been due since they first hit the scene back in 2000, and it’s all because of their latest work ‘Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart’ (see Tsuru’s review here). Better late than never I guess. I happen to belong to that select group of early adopters (read: worshippers) and grabbed the first chance I got to see them live back in ’04. Despite all the great concerts I’ve been to before or since then (Wilco, Danko Jones, Nada Surf, Anthrax, Underworld and Brendan Benson immediately come to mind), Phoenix’ performance easily ranks among the 5 best I’ve seen. I can’t wait untill March 26th to see them again.

Some evidence:

If I Ever Feel Better (released in 2000)
Victim Of The Crime (released in 2004)

Go ahead and french kiss the boys over here: Official | Buy

WHAT’S SO SPECIAL ABOUT JOSH ROUSE?

Josh Rouse is responsible for two of the best collections of songs of the Naughties: ’1972′ (released in 2003) and ‘Nashville’ (released in 2005). That his work since those high water marks hasn’t been as good says more about the quality of the two masterpieces than about his last three albums though. Because they happen to be very fine pieces of work in their own right (read Tsuru’s review of ‘El Turista’ here). And finally, after years of waiting I get to see Josh do his stuff in a live setting. In the small room (actually: the tiny room) at the Amsterdam Paradiso. I have no doubt that this concert will live up to my (very high) expectations!

Some evidence:

Under Your Charms (from 1972)
Sad Eyes (from Nashville)

Check Josh out here: Official | Buy

WHAT’S SO SPECIAL ABOUT PAVEMENT?

Dang! Pavement is not just special; Pavement is UBERSPECIAL! My all time favorite band. They split up before I ever had to chance to go see them in real life, but it seems that Karma has finally answered my (very silent and actually non-existent) prayers. Anyway, Pavement is UBERSPECIAL and their body of work merits an article of their own. I will get around to that soon, so please do not forget to check back in at TSURURADIO!

Until next time,
Peanut

@Woollygrass

—————————–

My current top 10 for ’10:

Beach House – Teen Dream | Sambassadeur – European
Efterklang – Magic Chairs | Spoon – Transference
Josh Rouse – El Turista | Vampire Weekend – Contra
Miles Kurosky – The Desert of Shallow Effects | White Rabbits – It’s Frightening
Rogue Wave – Permalight | Yeasayer – Odd Blood

Running a music site can become overwhelming at times and with work & family & life in general ramping up, he pulled the plug on the Playground.  But from the hole left by the blog, a stronger friendship grew and now, what, 2 years later?  Maybe longer?  Peanut’s back!  Only, this time, we here at TSURURADIO were lucky enough to snag him!  Can I get a woot?

WOOT!

Can I get a woot followed by another woot?

WOOT WOOT!!!

That’s better…

So what does all this mean to you, our beloved readers?  It means, along with my usual jibber-jabber & grafista’s much loved songs from impending leaks, you now get the occasional column of musical ramblings by Peanut!  Meaning, more for you!  We now got you covered from the States/Canada, over to Germany, and up to The Netherlands!  Seriously, how awesome is that?

And what are we going to call this wonderful column?  Why Peanut’s Playground, of course!

His first post should be up tonight or tomorrow, so when you see it, please give him a hardy welcome and all your lovins!

Cheers!

Tsuru

Photography by umayumay

Hey guys… well, it’s Tuesday and actually, I’m underneath my favourite blanket with the warm laptop sitting on top and a little space-heater in the room.  Just not feeling so awesome-O today and with a relatively slow work day ahead, figured it was best to bundle up and get well.  I’m not looking for well-wishes, just explaining my situation which led me to Netflix to stream some perfect stay at and get-well movie action and, check this.

Did you know Stripes is not available for streaming?  Huh?

Really Netflix?  Is there a more perfect sick-day movie?  A linear plot that requires really no paying attention too, John Candy, some great military chants that are extra-ordinarily easy to pick-up, and some boobs.  More specifically, mud-wrestling boobs!

FINE.  I’ll save you the google image search, here’s a vaguely NSFW screen cap.

Maybe Netflix doesn’t value the healing power of boobs?  Stripes has everything a sick boy needs.  In fact, I seem to recall as a young kid with cable on a sick day coming across Stripes…. Hmmm… now that I think about it, maybe THAT’S why I want to watch it?   Anyways, I found myself instead knee deep in The Wayward Cloud, a semi-hardcore, watermelon-enhanced, ant-dropping Taiwanese musical.  No, I’m not kidding.

Unfortunately, there is so much symbolism & Taiwanese musical(ism) going on, that instead of feeling better, I felt lost & confused, and I LIKE watermelons!  No, this is not the healing power of boobs I was looking for.

Apparently Netflix & Taiwan aren’t the only places that don’t understand the beauty and potency of two fat deposits sitting on a woman’s chest with some nipples on the tips, because from what I’m hearing, 1/2 of the dueling internetal & mobile computation superpowers, Apple (the other being Google) has started deleting every & all boob related app!?!  An event I twitter-named #appleboobocide2k10 in honour of the already forgotten #musicblogocide2k10 that occurred a couple weeks back.

Now, I don’t have an iPhone, but still, what the fuck Apple?  Gizmodo is dutifully chronicling the events, but honestly, I don’t get it.  Who CARES if a guy wants an app that when he shakes his phone around, a pair of boobies wiggle & wobble about.  Is their a dick version?  THAT would be funny shit right there.  Even Suicide Girls had their app pulled!  Seriously, what’s the fun of technology if I can’t turn have my phone make an “alt-girl” suddenly appear in her underwear?  Yeah, apparently just her underwear.  But don’t worry fellas & ladies who like their women plastic & boring & uber-photoshopped, the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit App is still available.  Uh… Awesome?

The states has always had a hypocritical view of sexuality & free-speech, a love-hate for it.  For such a freedom-lurving country we pretend to be, it’s all well & good until a nipple pops out somewhere.

Oh no, a booby.   Hope the iPhone doesn’t block TSURURADIO soon!?!?  But hey, a fart apps are okay, so, uh keep ‘em coming, because, man, we love us some fart sounds!  PBBBLT!  HAHAHA!

Look.  If a woman wants to get naked or do whatever with her body, it’s her body, her choice, empowerment is a good thing.  And if she’s okay with someone making an app that shows that body, then fantasm-O.  If you don’t want the app, don’t buy it.  If you are pissed that your boyfriend has the app, then talk to your boyfriend about it, don’t get pissed at Apple, it didn’t come with the booby app, did it?

Man.  I can’t even IMAGINE what the complainers, let alone Apple, would think of my Scratch-N-Sniff Sharpie Porn piece for the upcoming Couchfire Touchy Feely show this Saturday night at the Ohio Art League Gallery .

That’s right, SCRATCH-N-SNIFF SHARPIE PORN (WARNING: link takes you to graphic sharpie drawn porn adorned with tutti-fruitti and fruit punch scratch-n-sniff stickers coming out of the orifices, click at your own risk). Right now, I have no plans to make an app anyway, not til Apple invents a smell-i-Phone, THEN AND ONLY THEN will I hire an app maker.  C’mon, you know you would love to scratch a butthole and smell strawberries.

AHHH……  Empowerment is a good thing, isn’t it?  We should celebrate it! Celebrate sexuality!  Have fun with it!  Not make it so grody!  I’ll tell you who’s been, not only celebrating her empowerment but a wee-bit of her sexuality as well, is truly incomparable Joanna Newsom.

Photo of the inside of the vinyl package of Have One On Me via We Listen For You.

Joanna’s a double whammy of empowerment.  One, she’s beautiful and is obviously willing to use that to her own advantage and celebrate it.  BUT, then you take in her music.  Now granted, her last album with ZOOOOM! right over my head and her voice often made me want to stab knitting needles 6 inches into my ears, but I had to respect her.  A strong woman, behind a giant geeky harp, just doing whatever the fuck she wanted, be damned convention, and BLAMO! It was brilliant, not my taste, but brilliant.

In comes her new album Have One On Me…

A 2 hour, 3 disc epic.  Now, knowing what you know about how I feel about Newsom’s previous effort, I had no intention of getting NEAR this album.  I’ll let the cool kids and music academics dismantle, love or hate, or whatever this album.  But then the wonderful lads & lasses in the society calmed me, reminded me that each album by every artist is that artist’s statement at that moment and, as I’ve preached before, should be taken in the vacuum of it’s own existence.  PLUS, ears change, eyes change.  I’m not the same man I was when Ys came out.

By the way…. anyone else thinks that album cover looks like an outtake from God Shuffled His Feet by Crash Test Dummies?

Anywhosaldoosals… Where were we?  Oh yeah, Have One On Me.  First off, her voice.  MUUUUCH more tsuru-friendly.  Yeah, every now and then she dips into cats-in-heat, but it’s rare and fitting.  The songs sound almost like twisted traditional songs, like how “Baby Birch” kiiinda sounds like “Amazing Grace”, that kinda thing.  At 2 hours, it’s alot.  A whole lot.  But I’ll tell you right now.  It’s absolutely stunning.

I know.

No one is more surprised than me.  I can’t explain it, it’s reminds me of my favourite strong women in music, such as the queen oddball Kate Bush, but not ever do I feel like she’s mimicking my feminine heroes.  This is probably the geekiest thing I’ll listen to this year, deep, rich, subtle, but geeky.  Amazing.  In the crappy get-well movie in my head, this is where we start the slow clap that builds to monumental applause.

Yeah.

Okay, I’m about to fade to never-neverland, so here’s a couple tracks.  The first to get the album going and the stunner that closes the whole thing off.   Nighty-night!

01 Easy
02 Have One on Me
03 ’81
04 Good Intentions Paving Company
05 No Provenance
06 Baby Birch
07 On a Good Day
08 You and Me, Bess
09 In California
10 Jackrabbits
11 Go Long
12 Occident
13 Soft as Chalk
14 Esme
15 Autumn
16 Ribbon Bows
17 Kingfisher
18 Does Not Suffice

Some Newsom love: Myspace | Label

Cheers,

Tsuru

American Ghetto will be released on 2nd March.

The Dead Dog – Portugal The Man

click click …
Myspace | Home | Buy

Enjoy,
Graf