TSURURADIO Presents… Bicycle, Bicycle, Bicycle, I Want To Ride My Bicycle Mixtape!!!! And…. A Tour De Cure Ride Report! HOORAY!!!

Photography by Tsuru

Okay, I begged and bugged you, over and over again, you guys really came through, as you know, but little did I know you’d get your money’s worth this much on Saturday! Before we begin though, I want you to get “in the mood”, the bicycle mood. So, first I need you to push play (while you download, of course) a lil’ mixtape we put together… A bare-bones affair of bicycle themed songs to get your legs a-twitchin’, your heart a-pumpin’, and your butt a-burnin’ (thank lard for chamois cream!). Okay? Let’s do that first as…

Bicycle, Bicycle, Bicycle, I Want To Ride My Bicycle Mixtape!!!
(Full Zip)

01 Queen – Bicycle Race
02 The Bicycles – B-B-Bicycles
03 Helvetia – Old New Bicycle
04 Saloon – Bicycle Theves
05 They Might Be Giants – Dirt Bike
06 Peter And The Wolf – The Bike of Jonas
07 Hauschka – Blue Bicycle
08 The Love Of Kevin aka the LK – Tandem Bikes
09 Luis Bacalov – Bicycle
10 Pink Floyd – Bike
11 Dukes of Stratosphear – Bike Ride to the Moon
12 Ether Frolics – Bike Ride
13 Grandaddy – Rode My Bike to My Stepsister’s Wedding
14 Paulette – The Bike
15 Lebanon – Bicycle
16 Clare Moore – Town Bikes Song
17 Butterglory – Bike
18 Red Hot Chili Peppers – Bicycle Song
19 Tonepoem – The Bicycle Thief
20 World Atlas – Girl on a Boys Bike
21 Blur – Daisy Bell (A Bicycle Made For Two)
22 Lisa Germano – Riding My Bike

Okay, is it playing? Got it at a nice volume, one to get you feelin’ it, but not too loud to distract your readin’ abilities??? Yeah? Go on, I’ll wait…. Got it?


Now, let me tell you about Saturday……..

Being the kinda guy who literally MUST have his morning coffee (I wake up 45 minutes to 1 hour earlier than I need to, regardless of the circumstances, to have my coffee), I woke up at 3:30am. Every muscle, pore, vein, synapses, and hair fought me on this, but once the alarm rings, it’s either get up and get coffee or lay there not being able to go back to sleep and missing coffee, so I got up.

To give a sense of my sleepiness, I took one of those arm’s length myspace-style photos… Keep in mind, this photo is AFTER coffee and AFTER a wake-up shower and AFTER some light stretching:

Photography by Tsuru

Yeah, not pretty (and no, not “posed”). Oh well. Threw the bike & backpack in my old-beat-up Toyota pick-em-up truck and headed to my strong-like-Austrian-bear cycling partner’s house listening to this, loud. So far so good. We load up his truck, triple and quadruple check the checklists and head out. We get there at 5:50am, but registrations not for a few more minutes, so we started gearing up, pumping up, and generally getting on our “game faces”, i.e. grimacing our irritation for thinking it was a good idea to sign up for a ride that has a 6:30am start time.

Photography by Tsuru

Well, we were there now, gotta keep your head out of your behind, right? So we finished getting ready which involved me marveling at my newly shaved gams and how old my legs look when there’s no hair on them. Not only are they more pale without the light coating of black hair, but you can see every bump, scar, glitch, and overall wear & tear from 36 years of clumsiness! Yeah, not as “hawt” as I’d hope for… Fortunately, the photo of them in the sun came out a little blurry, so the necessity to gouge your eyes out will be less likely.

Photography by Tsuru


Okay time to ride! Well, pee then ride, and both we did and at about 6:35am we were off….. WHEEE! It was a little unorganized at first but we soon found ourselves in a double pace line, which was great! It’s no peloton, but it makes life a little better. The sun was rising, the air was wet and cool, and we were on the first leg of our century… It doesn’t get much better than that on a bike. We maintained a good pace and made it to the first break at mile 21 in no time at all! A beautiful park where they had that G2 stuff, water, natural peanut butter, and really green bananas waiting for us (and, thankfully, a port-a-potty).

Photography by Tsuru

Isn’t it lovely? The park’s nice too…. ha! See what I did there! Aren’t I a clever bird?

Photography by Tsuru

Ah, a lone cyclist, enjoying his green banana in peace, contemplating, I’m sure, the next 79 miles…

Well, the nice pack o’ cyclists we had for the first leg would not hold as people just randomly left to continue the journey. Oh well, Tuck and I are pretty used to riding outside the groups (what? us? outsiders? no waaay…… yep) and I was in no hurry, no point in rushing and getting malnutritioned or something. But, it wouldn’t just be the two of us this time, as we found ourselves riding with a stray (teamroll member, Eva) that would, not only be part of our now 3-man team for the rest of the day, but would turn out to be vital to my completing our journey! Here we are cruising down some Midwest road, Tuck leading, Eva hydrating, and me sitting up, stretching my back, and grabbing a quick photo…

Photography by Tsuru

Ghost bike!!! Haha!

So far so good! Nothing to report, just good times. But soon came the hills, and with them, trouble. Up and down we were going, climb, a little descent, climb some more, a little descent (the rewards weren’t balancing the climbs, if you follow, but that’s okay, we were ending where we started so ultimately all the climbing would have equal amounts of descending), so after this one climb near mile 40, there was a beautiful, pretty long, and very steep descent facing us.

Excited, I gunned it and took the hill like a bat out of hell as Meatloaf would say, I’m not sure how fast as I was going, but it was pretty fucking fast. I saw, what looked like, a little patch of brown dirt in the road, but it looked packed, so I stayed steady and ran over i—— PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSH!!!!!!!

A flat… No! The road turned up, so I hopped off the bike, and walked it up to the top, flipped her, and with anger in my soul, changed the tire.

Photography by Tucker

We didn’t see any hole in the tire, so I put my spare on and we pumped it up as good as we could, then we were off again. Something happened while we sat there in the sun… My bike heated up. Not to where I couldn’t touch it or anything, but given it’s an older aluminum frame with relatively old Integra shifters and relatively new cables on the derailleur, suddenly my bike was COMPLETELY out of tune. It was shifting all over the place! I’d try to climb a hill and the chain would just float up and down between two cogs forcing me to drop it into smaller gears making for some very tough climbing.

1o more miles of this and we got to the half-way point rest stop. Where I put the bike in the shade of a dumpter, had a sandwhich, water, and a few bites of a powerbar thing, before getting some help to try to get my gearing straight.

Photography by Tsuru

Kapu’s behind the dumpster, not in this shot. So, we got her in working order and once we felt ready, we continued on…

More hills, the worse yet! The next 10 miles seemed to take forever as we slowly climbed one, then another, then a long very slight hill (which are just annoying), and at mile, oh, 60ish, we made a left turn and climbed up what I think was the steepest hill of the day. No, not long, probably not even a quarter mile, just steep. We all stood up and slowly crunched down on the pedals, rocking the frames, little by little by— PSSSSSSSSSHHH!!!!!

Photography by Tucker

Yep…. Flat #2. This time we found a punctured tire and a demolished tube on Kapu. So off it went! Eva had a spare tube to lend and for the hole? Tuck had a crisp & warm $10 bill. We folded her up, tucked it in there, got the tube on and filled her up. Off we go again!

Oh, and did I mention, Kapu was back out of tune again! HOORAY!

Ain’t no stopping now! We are passed the halfway point, let’s go! So we did. The hills kept coming, but they were getting easier. Basically now, it was just about moving forward, keeping hydrated, ignoring the exhaustion, and trying to keep your mind in shape. The scenery helped, but over the course of a century, even pretty roads like this…

Photography by Tsuru

Get old.

So, 20 miles later, we found ourselves in Johnstown trying to keep track of where we were going while trying to keep an eye out on the sudden traffic jam of cars and military vehicles (?) we were in the midst of but over to our left was a gazebo, a park, and our 80 mile rest stop where I took full advantage of the shade and cool grass to stretch my legs, my back, and my mind…

Photography by Tsuru

Tucker took advantage of the break to grimace at his camera with a nice backlight of sun to add to the silhouette of mystery.

Photography by Tucker

We hydrated up, dumped water on our heads, ate a little, peed a little, and were off… My body protested this by giving me some cramps in my left thigh (something I’m prone to, but with training, has gotten much better), but after my leg got over it, so began my proudest moment.

For the next 6 or 7 miles, I found a good cadence, gearing (one that didn’t float around), form, and zoned-out feeling and I led our little team at a nice 20+ mph pace, smooth and easy, as we passed cyclist after cyclist (we were starting to see the 60, 30, and 20 mile riders as the maps merged). It felt good…. Really good.

Photography by Tsuru

I don’t think that picture is from that run, but you get the idea….

Then suddenly & finally, there it was… The finish (a couple miles short of 100, which is why were were surprised to see it, don’t worry, went well over a hundred yesterday on my recovery ride) HOORAY! We pulled up through and into the parking lot of Westerville Central High School to some cheering and a bunch of cowbells… Very cool! I felt like a “real cyclists”, and it felt ready good! Baby & Tuck’s wife were both there to cheer us on and baby even snapped some photos of us crossing the finish!

Photography by Baby

Me…. And..

Photography by Baby



We curved around and pulled up to the ladies, where I was exhausted, sure, but feeling great and grinning like a mentally-challenged dog getting a belly rubbin!

Photography by Baby

We chit-chatted for a sec, but Outback steakhouse was there and had some grilled chicken and grub waiting for us (let’s go Outback tonight…..). Before we ate though, a little team photo was in order, no? Our little international band of ragamuffins, an Austrian bear in Tuck, a Polish never-stop-pedalin’ woman in Eva, and a Floricanadian weirdo in me.

Photography by Baby

Now…. Let’s eat! Outback never tasted so good. Really, it never has, I mean it’s Outback, and I was extraordinarily hungry, if there’s ever a chance to like Outback, it’s then. We ate, we chatted, we told our tales of flats, derailleurs, and ten-dollar bills, took an “official” team photo with the rest of teamroll (I think Tuck and I were the only ones not in teamroll jerseys), and off we went.

That’s it! The rest of the day was picking up a little swag at roll, having Tri-Tech re-tune my bike for free (they tuned it about a week before the race, my first “professional tuning”), which they did right on the spot, with enough humility about what happened to almost make me feel bad for the bike going out of tune!

Got home, cleaned up, and spent the day recouping, then later, baby & I went on a nice walk in the evening to Gallery Hop that led us down, ultimately, to Apropos for some cool refreshing white wine, dessert, and some annoying yet strangely addictive music playing over the speaker (more on that tomorrow), after which, I summarily passed out until morning….

What a day.

Thanks again everyone, for everything…. Maybe next year, baby & I will ride this on the Lambo??? WOOT! But first, I got the 100 mile ride for the Pelotonia to think about from Columbus to Athens, OH to raise money for Cancer (don’t worry, I got sponsorship for this one).

Yeah…. I’m addicted.

Photography by Tsuru

2 comments for “TSURURADIO Presents… Bicycle, Bicycle, Bicycle, I Want To Ride My Bicycle Mixtape!!!! And…. A Tour De Cure Ride Report! HOORAY!!!

  1. piers
    June 8, 2009 at 11:37 AM

    Awesome job, man! Congratulations! One question though… no Pixies' Tony's Theme?

  2. Tsuru
    June 8, 2009 at 12:01 PM

    Thanks man! And sorry, this was built, bare-bones, on the fly yesterday (otherwise, I'd gone full out with mixing, the works).

    So, I'm sure there are many bicycle themed songs I COMPLETELY forgot! ;)

    If you or anyone has more suggestions (and links, ;) I'd love to hear 'em!!


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