All the girls on my block

Photography by Rose & Olive

I’ve only won something once. A bicycle. About 15 years ago, my mom
had entered my name in a local convenience store (I think it was a
Circle K). What was weird was that we were having a nasty storm the day
I won. It rained hard, thunder and lightening knocked at the electricty.
In the middle of this, we get a call that I’ve won. It was birthed to me
in a storm, I should’ve known it would be an evil bike. Poorly assembled,
I had accident after accident on that bike. Wheel came off mid cat-walk,
handle bars stripped forward during an off-road journey with friends, chain
popped off during a key race on our street, almost killed me, that bike.

I went back to my old bike…

Camper Van Beethoven – When I Win the Lottery

Well I lost an eye in Mexico
Lost two teeth where I don’t know
People see me comin’ and they move to the other side
of the road.

I robbed a liquor store
To make myself at home a few times
Borrowed myself a car when I needed it.

I got me a shack at the bottom of the road
Fixin’ cars and givin’ tows
Spend all my money on the lottery.

When I win the lottery gonna buy all girls on my block
A color TV and a bottle of French perfume
When I win the lottery gonna donate half my money to
the city
So they have to name a street or a school or a park
after me
When I win the lottery

Never run a flag up a pole
Like Mr. Red, White, and Blue down the road
But I never called myself a hero for killing a known

Now I can walk into any old bar
Find a fight without looking too hard
But I never killed someone I don’t know just ’cause
someone told me to.

And when I win the lottery
Gonna buy the house next to Mr. Red, White and Blue
And when I win the lottery
Gonna buy Post 306 American Legion, paint it red with
five gold stars.

When I win the lottery.

When the end comes to this old world
The rocks will cry and the rest will curl up
And God won’t take the time to sort your ass from

‘Cause we zig and zag between good and bad
Stumble and fall on right and wrong
‘Cause the tumbling dice and the luck of the draw
just leads us on.

And when I win the lottery, gonna buy all the girls
on my block
Silver-plated six shooters and a quart of the finest
highland scotch
‘Cause when I win the lottery, the rocks will shake
their heads and say that
God is good but surely works in mysterious ways.

When I win the lottery.

Camper Van Beethoven – Pictures Of Matchstick Men

Buy Camper Van Beethoven’s Key Lime Pie, now.

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